Counseling Center

Grief and Loss Resources

The New Normal After Loss

Grieving individuals are not working to return to normal; they are working toward establishing a new normal.
Heather Servaty-Seib, PhD & Deborah J. Taub, PhD
Authors, Training Faculty Members and Resident Assistants to Respond to Bereaved Students

• While counseling has been shown to have a positive impact on the retention rates of all college students, only 10% of college students seek counseling services. (Bishop & Brenneman, 1986; Gallagher, 2004, 2010).
• Students are not likely to complain to physicians about grief but instead about symptoms like insomnia, lack of motivation and an inability to concentrate (Janowiak, Mei-tal, & Drapkin, 1995).
• Today’s college students are 40% lower in empathy than their counterparts 20 or 30 years ago (Konrath, O’Brien, & Hsing, 2010).
• Studies indicate that bereaved individuals who receive adequate support experience lower levels (both in intensity and incidence) of anxiety or depression, fewer psychosomatic and autonomic symptoms, and decreased use of alcohol, tobacco, and tranquilizers (Parkes, 1975, 1979, 1981).
• Research shows that group work is one of the most effective approaches to helping the bereaved (Harvey & Miller, 2000; Price, Dinas, Dunn & Winterowd, 1995; Shapiro, 1994; Worden, 1991; Zimpfer, 1991).
• Loss support groups allow people to share common problems and provide mutual aid, thus helping the bereaved to develop a community and new social support systems (Janowiak, Mei-Tal, & Drapkin, 1995; Price, Dinas, Dunn & Winterowd, 1995; Zimpfer, 1991).
• Benefits from support group involvement have been found to include improved emotional, mental, and physical stability during and after participation (McCallum, Piper & Morin, 1993; Thuen, 1995; Zimpfer, 1991, Yalom & Vinogradov, 1988).

College Grief Information 

• Between 35% and 48% of college students have lost a family member or close friend within the last two years. Between 22% and 30% of college students have lost a family member or close friend within the last year (Balk, 1997; Wrenn, 1999; Balk, Walker & Baker, 2010).
• 18.4 million students were enrolled in American colleges in 2009 (U.S. Census Bureau, 2009). That equates to more than 4.5 million college students who are grieving.
• 8.6% of college students’ academic performances have been affected by the death of a family member or close friend within the last year (Servaty-Seib & Hamilton, 2006).
• Research shows that a student’s GPA significantly decreases during the semester of loss, providing empirical support for the assertion that bereaved students are at risk for declined academic performance (Servaty-Seib, 2006).
• For 10% to 15% of the bereaved, a debilitating and prolonged form of grief can pose severe long-term risks for psychological and physical health (Ott, 2003; Prigerson & Maciejewski, 2006).

Helpful Tips for Grieving College Students

• Talk about your loved one who died with friends, family and/or a professional.
• Grief is truly a journey, requiring time and energy. It is a very unique process and it doesn’t have a set amount of time.
• Pace yourself. Grief can be hard and tiring. It takes a lot of energy to feel so intensely. Allow yourself plenty of time to do normal everyday activities. Try not to over-schedule yourself, you don’t need the added stress. Rest when you can and need to, it’s not a sign of weakness.
• Try to resist the temptation to “throw yourself” into work, school or other diversions. This leaves too little time for the grief work you need to do for yourself.
• Take care of yourself. Give yourself time and space to begin your grief journey. Get enough rest. Eat healthy food. Give yourself a break.
• Resist the temptation to use alcohol or drugs. These can interfere with the grieving process or cover it up – not take it away.
• If you are religious, contact your place of worship and utilize offered services.
• Talk to others who have experienced the death of a loved one. People who have been through grief can empathize with and help support you, and vice versa.
• The grief process is an individual experience. Some people like to talk about things while others prefer to grieve by “doing” something. Do what feels right for you.
• Express your grief. The best way to work with your grief is to let it out. So how do you let out your emotions? Do you: Cry, scream, and yell? Do you: express your feelings through music, art, poetry, or journaling? Some express themselves with only one or a few trusted people, while others chose to make a display of expression. Do what feels right for you.
• Focus on your health. Grief can be a great stress on your body and mind. It can upset sleep patterns, lead to depression, weaken your immune system, and highlight medical problems. See your doctor if you are worried about your symptoms.
• Consider getting professional help if you feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or helpless. Seek professional help if you have suicidal thoughts. Grief therapy doesn’t have to be long-term. Even if you don’t see yourself as the kind of person who would go to therapy, it may be beneficial.
• Grief tends to go at it’s own rate, so allow yourself time to grieve. There is no right way and no time limit!
• Be patient. There may be days where you feel great, but there may also be setbacks. Don’t expect to “Get over it” or have a deadline in mind. Reminders can trigger emotions – both physical and emotional. This is not a sign of weakness. Instead, your mind and body are telling you that your grief journey isn’t done.
• Create your own ways of memorializing your loved one. Celebrate their life in whatever way feels right to you. Try supporting a cause they believed in, start a scholarship, plant a garden, make a donation in their name, etc.
• Have a little fun. Do something to make you laugh and/or smile. Many may find this difficult to do at first, but it is wonderful medicine for the grieving soul.

Reference from http://activelymovingforward.org/grief-support/helpful-tips-for-grieving-college-students

Guidelines for Helping Someone Who is Grieving

Friends often ask themselves questions such as: What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? What can I do better? Here are some suggestions for helping the person in grief.

• Take some kind of action. Make a phone call, send a card, give a hug, attend the funeral, help with practical matters (e.g., meals, care of children).
• Be available. Allow the person time so there is no sense of “urgency” when you visit or talk.
• Be a good listener. Accept the words and feelings expressed, avoid being judgmental or taking their feelings personally, avoid telling them what they feel or what they should do.
• Don’t minimize the loss and avoid giving cliches and easy answers. Don’t be afraid to talk about the loss (i.e., the deceased, the ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, the disability, etc.).
• Allow the bereaved person to grieve for as long or short a time as needed. Be patient, there are no shortcuts.
• Encourage the bereaved to care for themselves. They need to attend to physical needs, postpone major decisions, and allow themselves to grieve and to recover.
• Acknowledge and accept your own limitations. Many situations can be hard to handle, but can be made easier with the help of outside resources — books, workshops, support groups, other friends, or professionals.

Referenced from http://www.cornellcollege.edu/counseling/student-resources/grief.shtml

Additional Resources

Below is a list of counseling resources available in the Reading area.  The Albright College Counseling Center is not endorsing these practices over any other.  Students are welcome to select counseling resources of their own preference.  It should be noted that this list is not exhaustive.

Links to Available Counseling Resources in the Reading:

• Reading Health System
• Berks Counseling Associates
• Family Guidance Center
• Callowhill Family Therapy Center
• Creative Health Services
• Berks Counseling Center
• Northwestern Human Services
• Progressions Companies
• Trauma Counseling Services

Philadelphia Area’s Closest Impatient Facility

• Horsham Clinic

Online Anonymous Reporting Form

Links to Psychological Disorder Information & Quizzes:

Anxiety

• Information:
  • National Institute of Health (NIH)
  • ADAA
  • Anxiety BC
  • Mayo Clinic Anxiety
  • Make the Connection
• Anxiety Disorder Quizzes:
  • Psych Central

Bipolar Disorder

• Information:
  • NIMH
  • Mayo Clinic
  • Help Guide.org
  • Healthline
  • WebMD
  • Mind
  • About
  • Psych Central
• Quizzes:
  • Bipolar Screening Quiz
  • Goldberg Bipolar Spectrum Screening Questionnaire
  • Bipolar Depression Test
  • Bipolar Disorder (Mania) Quiz

Body Image/Eating Disorders

• Information:
  • Healthy Place – America’s Mental Health Channel
  • NEDA
  • National Institute of Mental Health
  • Healthy Place
  • ANAD
  • Medline Plus
• Quizzes:
  • Casa Palmera
  • Psych Central –Eating Disorder Attitudes Quiz
  • Psych Central – Eating Disorders Screening Quiz
  • Healthy Place

Depression

• Information:
  • NIMH
  • Mayo Clinic
  • Psych Central
  • Mental Health Foundation
  • NAMI
  • Depression Alliance
  • Aware
• Quizzes:
  • Psych Central
  • Prevention
  • Depressed Test.com
  • Mental Health Alliance
  • Mental Health Screening

Drugs/Alcohol

• Information:
  • Help Guide.org
  • WebMD
  • NIH
  • Good Therapy
  • CDC
• Quizzes:
  • About.com – Alcohol Abuse Screening
  • Alcohol Withdrawal Symptoms Quiz
  • Cocaine Screening Quiz
  • Drug Abuse Screening Quiz
  • Marijuana Withdrawal Symptoms Quiz
  • Lasting Recovery
  • Drug Abuse Screening Test (DAST)
  • Alcohol Screening.org

Gender/Sexuality

• Information:
  • Mazzoni Center
  • Human Rights Campaign
  • The Attic Youth Center
  • PA Diversity
  • CDC
  • Center Link

Grief/Bereavement

• Information:
  • Help Guide.org
  • Grief.com
  • Caring Connections
  • WebMD
  • Grief Share
  • National Alliance for Grieving Children
• Quizzes:
  • Self-Care Quiz
  • Grief, Bereavement, & Mourning Quiz

Personality Disorders

• Information:
  • MHA
  • Mayo Clinic
  • Medline Plus
  • Mind
  • 4 Degrees
  • NHS Choices
• Quizzes:
  • Similar Minds Test
  • Personality Disorder Test
  • Borderline Personality Test

Physical/Sexual Assault/Abuse

• Information:
  • Help Guide.org
  • Healthy Place
  • Yukon Government
  • Prevent Violence
  • Hidden Hurt
  • I wanna know
  • Women’s Health
  • WebMD
  • RAINN
  • eMedicine Health
• Quizzes:
  • Domestic Abuse Screening Quiz

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

• Information:
  • NIH
  • Help Guide.org
  • National Center for PTSD
  • APA
  • Gateway
  • Make the connection
• Quizzes:
  • PTSD Test
  • PTSD Quiz

Schizophrenia/Psychosis

• Information:
  • NIH
  • Schizophrenia.com
  • WebMD
  • Psych Central
  • CAMH
• Quizzes:
  • Schizophrenia Screening Test
  • Schizophrenia Quiz
  • Schizophrenia Screening Quiz
  • Schizophrenia Screening

Self Harm/Self Mutilation

• Information:
  • Help Guide.org
  • Mind
  • WebMD
  • Mental Health America
  • SAFE Alternatives
  • Mayo Clinic
  • Healthy Place
  • Psyke.org
• Quizzes:
  • Self-abuse Quiz
  • Self Injury Quiz

Stress Management

• Information:
  • Help Guide.org
  • Mayo Clinic
  • Stress Management
  • American Heart Association
  • APA
  • Healthline
• Quizzes:
  • Test your stress smarts!
  • Stress and Anxiety quiz
  • Stress Screener
  • Stress Quiz
  • Stress Quiz

Suicide

• Information:
• **Suicide & Crisis Hotline: 800-784-2433 or 800-799-4889**
  • NIH
  • SAVE
  • Mental Health  America
  • Hopeline
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
  • Suicide Prevention Resource Center
  • The JED Foundation
  • CDC
  • Mayo Clinic
• Quizzes:
  • Suicide Risk Assessment
  • Depression & Suicide Quiz
  • How suicidal are you?