There and Back Again: A Human's Tale by Salaam

The Half Cent

Its the big one, folks! Entry numero 50! This entry comes at the end of April with May looming right around the corner. May brings June. And June? June brings me home. I booked my ticket back home for mid-June. It really hit hard. I can't believe it's been a school year almost. I wish I could stay just a little bit longer. But, alas, I must return to my original alma mater to see what's going on. It's gonna be a bit depressing. I think I'm going to get hit by massive cultural shock. My feelings towards American Football have completely 180'ed over the year. I used to like it but now I realize that its the reason I have A.D.D. 20 seconds of play, 2 minutes of commercial, rinse, repeat. Its really quite ridiculous.

]]> What's wrong with proper football? Nothing at all. People say it's a wussy sport. But we're talking about running for 45 minutes straight...TWICE! There's no commercial breaks. No time outs. The only break you get is when somebody falls over or when the ball goes out. If the argument is that there is no hitting in football, that's just a stupid argument. You have to be incredibly aggressive trying to get the ball from the other guy. Just because you're not hitting the person head on does not mean its stupid.

I will definitely miss playing football a lot. Nobody really plays at Albright. And the American style of futbol is just run after the ball. That's so ghey. I think futbol is more of an upper-middle-class WASP sport. I'll also miss watching football. Football was on twice, three times a week and it was easily accessible. Now, I'm going to have to watch it via chinese tv or something. *lets out one big sigh* But I don't think anybody really understands.

Regardless, I am focusing on what is happening NOW. For example, I am writing an essay on the most boring part of the world, Scandinavia. And I want to get it basically done before Friday, which is the SPIDER-MAN 3 OPENING WOOOOO!!!! The essay isn't due until next Friday, but after that come finals so I gotta get it done now.

Soon...I will be home.

Soon.

Lost Misplacements

There's this place where lost wallets go. When they fall out of your pockets and you frantically search for them, they all go to this little crevice in an unknown location. You look for it, but it isn't looking for you. It is enjoying that free air feeling for as long as it can before it must return to its rightful owner; wedged between the denim that surrounds its life, stuffed until it feels like it will explode.

It needed a break. So, at the right moment, it jumped out of my pocket. Just jumped out. It had felt some motion and heat and decided it would be a great place to take a brief vacation. I didn't notice this directly. I didn't even notice it that day. The process of unpacking one's pockets at the end of the day becomes so routine that I forgot that there was something important missing. I just assumed it was there. It always was before.

]]> In these wallets are placed the plastics of our lives. They dictate how much we can spend, where we are permitted to go, what we are allowed to do, and essentially tell us how much we're worth. One of the plastics was my key to food as it gained me entry into the dining hall. Come breakfast time, this reformed oil product had seemed to slip from my very hands. I subconsciously smacked my desk where the wallet should have been, expecting it to be there. When my hand felt the hard wood, bespeckled with rivets and scratches, I knew something was wrong. And thus, my misplaced wallet woes began. However, my wallet had now been out of my pocket for a good 12 hours. Oh, those 12 hours better have been great for it. Because if I ever found him, I would...ah, this is no time for frustration or anger. I must treat it better if it ever decides to return.

Regardless of its trip, I decided to tear apart my 9 X 10 cell. Pockets were turned inside out, mattresses and bedspreads were turned upside down and shaken, bookbags were searched. All this to no avail. The dude was gone. I even searched clothes I hadn't worn the night in question.
Ah well, I may as well check if anybody had turned it in. And so I walked out of my dorm and into the chilly, rainy morning as I cursed myself for having forgotten my rain jacket and umbrella.

At the desk, nothing had been turned in, but breakfast was still allowed. And I ate, albeit begrudgingly. All my friends told me that the first place I should search was the car I had been in. I knew this, but they were being good friends.

Half hour later, stories of lost wallets and calling to cancel credit cards have sparked concern in me. Oh no, I think, if I have to cancel my credit card, that means I can't watch Spider-Man 3 (because I had booked my ticket online and needed to bring it to the theater to confirm that I, indeed, was the Spider-Nerd who chose that perfect seat so many weeks in advance). I decided to forget about my wallet for a minute because worrying about it would not bring it any closer to me, it would only remind me how faraway I was from my state-given identity.

Upon leaving the dining hall, the rain had stopped and the sun was shining. Blue skies, I saw. This intrigued me. If my day started rainy but was now progressing to sunshine, could I possibly find my misplaced wallet? If so, would this mean that my predicaments would be determined by the weather? If so, I would make sure to move to the Bahamas.

I woke my friend up, I think, when I knocked on his window. I told him I had misplaced my wallet. He said, "You lost your wallet?!" And I don't like using that word 'lost' so quickly. But everybody had been using it by now. I was afraid that my wallet was indeed lost. Or maybe it had fallen onto the carpet in my room somewhere.

Regardless, we went over to his car. The closer we were to his car, the more desperate my prayers became. Once the distance between soul and vehicle were mere meters, all talking stopped. It was the silence, nay, the deep breath before the plunge. *CLICK* the unlocking of the car was too amplified for my liking. It gave a call of *LOOK HERE FOR THAT WHICH YOU WILL NOT FIND!* I gave it a shot, I opened the passenger door. My eyes glanced over the seat and they searched the foot part, briefly passing over the bit between door and seat.

And there, blending in with the shadows of the seat, was a piece of a chocolate. I jest. There, amongst the shadows, was my wallet. I grabbed it, held it with both hands, and raised it high above my head. I had found my misplaced wallet. Those twelve hours have better been great for it, because I made sure that, however long it decided to stay with me, those would be the best days.

Moral of the story: Take care of your wallets. Place them in the side pockets of your pants and not the side pockets of those track jackets because you will forget to zip them up. I know I did.

The Best of...

So. I'm back in the real world now. Rome was nice. Nay, Rome was amazing. I was there from Sunday the 25th to Saturday the 31st. And I took about 900 pictures. SERIOUSLY. oh snap, I just capitalized a whole word. i am sorry. that must have felt like yellings in your head. i remember when i would IM people and then I would walk away from my computer and not put up my away message and people would be like 'where are you' 'HELLO?!' "COME BACK!!!!" and it'd be in caps lock with the exclamation points but why would you do that? i can't actually hear what you are typing and i can't actually read all that UNTIL i've come back so when I read it, all i have is an IM Box with you yelling at me.

Stop yelling at me.

And please turn off your cell phones in theaters.

]]> I took about 900 pictures whilst in Roma. 900 pictures in 7 days. So I am going to try and choose the best picture or two from each day and just post it down here and let you see a bit of Roma.

Day 1 - basically spent at Piazza de Popolo

Day 2 - a good bit of Traveling, here is a Pyramid in Rome. Below that is a sunset beside the Coliseum.

Day 3 - Was spent in the Coliseum. This picture shows me, the just ruler, making an appearance to the peasants.

This is a poetic verse I really enjoyed. It was on display in the Coliseum.

This is the Monument of Vittorio Emanuele II, who was the first king of a unified Italy.

Day 4 - Went all over Rome with some friends of a friend. This is a picture from the top of the Spanish steps

Us on the Spanish Steps

This is a picture of St. Peter's Basilica

In front of the Pantheon

Day 5 - An afternoon at the Zoo

Seeing this in real life was pretty cool

A Man's Quest for Solace

Day 6 - I left the group and went on my own

Here I am at the Mediterranean

Piazza Navona

Day 7 - Final Day was spent at the culminating Roman attraction: the Vatican museums

This was the line for the Vatican. The line was literally a mile long. If you actually stood and waited in line, you are a tool. Just cut in somewhere.

here is one of the many, many paintings in the Vatican. I enjoyed this piece.

And of course, the penultimate experience, look at this one carefully to see what i refer to

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and so we left Rome, but we left it right where it was so that you can go and visit

So. Moral of the story. Study abroad. You will meet great people and will have the opportunity to take advantage of awesome situations. Albright has a great array of scholarships that you can apply for from different societies and organizations to make your young life just a little bet more cultured. Oh, and whilst you're in Rome, go to the Gelatria next to the Piazza de Roma. It is quality.

Cancun ain't got snotch on Rome

Hey guys,
I'm just heading out for London at the moment. Then it's off to Rome! I'll be back with pictures soon enough! All I know is that it is time for some VACATION!

Salaam

Readers of the World: READ!

Just this past wednesday, my Urban Dance Society had its first performance. Check it out:

http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=7473124202713337918&hl=en-GB

I haven't had the time to write in here because of our practices for that and all this reading I have to do here. Take it from me, University is much easier back home. Here, they basically give you several hours of classes and the rest of the time is yours to spend in the library. But who actually does that? Especially when it is 55 degrees outside and bright and sunshiny sunny?

Ah, I never understood the 'education' system. Now I must write an essay about Marxism. I will be a Communist for this whole week.

This is the Title

There's this room in my dorm, it is called the study room. I am sitting in it right now. Let me tell you what is on the desk around me. I have two forty page articles about Political Theory, a stack of note cards waiting to be filled with terms I don't know so that I can use them in everyday conversation and become a social outcast, a book entitled Democracy in Scandinavia (written by my lecturer thereby making it like his voice is in my head whenever I read it), a highlighter, and a pen. I have this stuff with me because I have to work on a presentation for Thursday.

But here I am. Posting on the blog. PrOcraSTinatING. That's better.

]]> Is there such a thing as Concastinating? I don't find anything pro about procrastinating. Or even Congress. Shouldn't it be Progress? Wouldn't we get somewhere then? At the same time, I guess the constitution would be changed to the prostitution. But it would make sense because we whore ourselves out to the rest of the world for exorbitant fees and then ask them "Was democracy good for you?"

I think my English is progressively getting worse. But in a good way. This is because I am speaking with people of other nationalities and whenever they speak, I basically absorb their English. Have you ever found yourself talking like other people when you hang out with them? For example, when I first came to Albright, I brought the speech I had used when I was in high school. That is to say, I brought the English of my friends. And then, when I got the new crowd of friends, I found that I began to talk like them. I hope this doesn't mean I am easily persuaded into doing different things.

At the moment, I am planning my trip to ROME for this coming Spring Break. My friend from Kenya has to apply for his visa so he can go over as well. He better hurry cuz I really want to go to Italia.

The time until Spring break is filled with weekly deadlines which is good and bad. Good because it keeps me on my toes. Bad because it keeps me on my toes. I'm not a ballerina.

Just a baller.

Presentation this week. The week after I have to hand in the topic for my essay. The week after I have my first Bboy performance (Breakdancing). The week after that I have my essay to hand in. That same week is Rome then! WOOOOOO that will be a good trip.

Aight, that's enough out of me. You need to get back to studying.

Salaam

Places to See

So, it's been a while coming. And here it is. A MASSIVE picture post. Click below to get in on the action of Scotland.

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This is my home for a year. The courtyard isn't that great, broken glass bottles and such, but it's nice to throw bread crumbs in for the birds. But I loathe the birds.

A pretty nice sunset back in Novemberish.

Porch rockin on a chill night. Pink Floyd was a recurring theme, no doubt. And yes, I did wish you were here.

I call it "Moon Giving Birth"

It was WAY too expensive to get into Westminster Abbey.

If you had any doubts as to my Americanicity, this should erase your doubts.

A Mexican restaurant next to a School of English. Am I the only one who finds this funny?

The Time's Square of London

Sir Walter Scott, I believe. This was his monument in Edinburgh.

Edinburgh Castle

Mountainous hills

A Cannon Shot from inside the castle

Lunch on the Rocks of St. Andrews' Castle

St. Andrews Castle Front

A view from inside the Castle overlooking the cliffs

St. Andrews Beach.

Cemetery at St. Andrews cathedral

I thought it looked like a bull going into a toreador. What do you think?

:-) haha no comment

I liked this shot.

Chillllllllllllll

Can you tell what time it is?

H.I.double L. arious

This is the Discovery. It was trapped in Antarctica for 2 years!

Ahoy, maties! I spot the tip of land!

Life's A Beach by ~salaamthebody on deviant ART

That, my readers, was but a condensed version of the pictures I have taken. This was the Places album. Next, I will work on a People album.
See you then!

Crazy Internets

Man, I couldn't get on for the longest time! It said I was forbidden from entering. And then, I couldn't get into my Albright email. Man, I thought Albright had dropped me from its roster. I googled my name just to make sure I still existed and, sure enough, I was still deemed alive. I think a funny part about the blog cast is how Melissa is looking at me all coyily. Man, she's cheeky.

So a lot has happened since I last wrote a relevant post. George W. Bush was re-elected somehow, Saddam was captured, etc etc. Oh, if you didnt get it by now, I was implying that I never have really written a relevant post.

Executive Beat Box - video powered by Metacafe

]]> So America. So many people are lining up to be President of you. Lots of people live in you, girl. But most people don't understand how you work. See, when they hear the word 'President' they just think that its another election that means they have to go to a school cafeteria and remember if they have registered to vote. But see, Erica, can I call you Erica? People don't understand that the President is the brain of you. And the brain doesn't feel pain, it'll get hit but it'll keep on going. The thing is, the brain may not feel the pain, but the rest of the body will. The people, your heart, may suffer. Erica, you're going through some adolescent stage at the moment. Teenage rebellion, frustration, choosing bad friends when you have Ada that would be a great friend. Your brain has been through a lot. Lucky for you, brain transplants have always been necessary. Your next transplant is scheduled to be quite soon, in the next year and a half. There's a couple people who want to be your brain. Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton, most notably. And its time to open your mind to new possibilities, Erica. There is so much more out there in here. Get my drift? That is, we don't have to go travelling everywhere else to find peace of mind, become better people. You can do it right where you are. In fact, if you just take a rest, put some Clearasil on your face to get rid of them nasty pimples that are impeding upon your beautiful face, I'm sure people will look past the few scars you have and you'll be as beautiful as ever. Take care of yourself before you try to take care of others, ok? Love you, girl.

I think it'd be hilarious if you tampered with somebody's voter registration and registered them to be communist. Hilarious like a federal jail cell.

2882 is the magic number

I have, at this moment, 2882 comments. Of them, about 10 maybe are real. By the time you read this, i will probably have 3027 comments. And if you read this next year, well, stop stalking me in the future. This entry has nothing to do with school, I'm just taking a break from studying, and I saw this on YouTube and I thought I'd share it with YouDude. So here. Just Push Play.

Yeah...About That

Well, a new year is now here. That means next year, I'll be graduating. That should be cool. In the meantime, I am back at Aberdeen. I was in Kent, England for winter break with my cousins. It was good times. I should be studying for my exams, which are next week, but I thought I'd give you guys an update. And now, for something completely different.

]]> Oh yeah, my laptop broke. And customer support was very little help. HP = Horrible Policy. If you are going to study abroad, get Dell. They at least have international warranty. That is definitely a safe option. Of course, you have to have a minimum three year warranty but hey, warranty is good cuz your laptop will break, no doubt about it. Me? I'm stuck with HP for quite some time. Well, it's almost noon, I best go put in a couple hours of studying.

Yeah...About That

At First, This Didn't Have a Title...Then I remembered

Yes. That is the answer if you asked "Are you listening to Michael Jackson right now?" I heard he's working on a new album. I'd google it to confirm it, but I'm too lazy. And if it isn't true, well, that would just dampen my mood. And my mood is pretty good right now. Tonight is breakdancing and I was practicing last night and I can do the seesaw! So now I'm trying to keep resting on my hands and head and either move to balancing on one arm or doing something crazy with my legs in the air or doing whatever the teacher says is cool. When I was in headstand mode, I landed on my left knee really hard twice. It still hurts. Man, I need kneepads.

Oh, whats that? The British pound is worth twice the American dollar? Huh.

And yes, you are correct again. I will blame it on Bush. This whole war has been absolutely disastrous. America is spending way too much money on this which is why the whole economy is going down. More and more money is being printed out for something that isn't even helping us out! So much is being concentrated on the outer world that the domestic has gone kaput. And I just heard today that by 2024, America will have a base on the Moon. WTF. What's the point? Big whoop. So what if moon rocks are the future energy source. We must improve the domestic, exterminate the debt, and rock so hard.

]]> That's a throwback. Definite throwback.

I'm in a library right now. I should be writing an essay. But I'm not. Ever since I came here, I have learnt so much about what is going on in the world and what has happened. Did you know Pinochet just died yesterday? Do you even know who Pinochet is? EXACTLY! Wiki him.

Did you know that the United Kingdom runs on a devolution system? I hadn't a clue! I didn't even know that England, Scotland, and Northern Ireland ARE NOT countries. They are states within a nation, the nation being the United Kingdom! INSANE!

Right, so about breakdancing. We are going to be performing at some international festival thing in march! Our teacher is gonna start hooking us up with a routine come next term. I am soooooooo excited. I hope that if I learn enough here, I just might be able to bring it back to Albright. How cool would an Urban Dance Society be?!

Ah well, back to my essay.

don't forget to flossingly,

Salaam

Mondayne

I never really appreciated how Monday sounded like mundane. And that is how we begin the weeks. Sunday is also a beginning of a week sometimes. But Sunday is a lot like Greenland. You expect it to be full of green and sun but nope, its full of school the next day. I can't believe we still follow the viking custom of greenland and iceland.
This is my 38th entry apparently. So I went to Wikipedia and looked up the year 38 to see what happened. Here are some things that occurred:

Apparently the fourth Roman emperor Claudius wed Messalina around this time.
Apion, a notorious anti-Semite, complained to Caligula about the Jews in Alexandria which sparked anti-semite riots when Agrippa I visited Alexandria. Caligula was actually a despot and only ruled for a small amount of years before being assassinated by his guards.
St. Andrew died in this year.

You know, as great as Rome was, it had some pretty crap rulers.

]]> I joined the Urban Dance Society. Its the Breakdancing Club. AND IT IS SO HARDCORE AWESOME! I actually pulled a muscle in my abs. I had no idea it was possible to pull a muscle in that area.

I've started to write/draw for the Uni of Aberdeen newspaper. I'm the resident cartoonist and I have my first article coming in this week's paper! So I'm excited. Hopefully that'll be swell.

Today I boiled an egg for an hour. Well, I didn't really boil it cuz the stove thing didn't heat up fast enough or stay hot for long. That really pissed me off. I was hungry and I had some good bread waiting to make an egg mayo sandwich but nooo a stove had to be stupid and make me wait. I just peeled the eggs. And put them in the fridge. Cuz guess what? It's dinner time. Jeez.

The guy who lives across from me, John, looks and acts like Jim from The Office. We also have a John Travolta, Frankie Muniz, Chris Farell, Samwise Gamgee, and Eddie Murphy lookalike.

K, eating time.

Hungringly,

Salaam

Thanksgiving? How bout you give me a turkey

Today is my first Thanksgiving with no turkey. I am not thankful for that. Forget you, Squanto.

]]> Otherwise, I finished my 6000 worder on Monday. When I handed it in, I went into my room, closed the door, and jumped and shouted YAY! YAY! YAY! and then I closed the curtain because people were watching me.

I've also started writing/drawing for the school newspaper. I'll definitely write more later because I have a paper to write and I do not want to run out of brain words.

Love From Across the Courtyard

Hi.

I wrote a story.

Click on, Obi Wan

]]> The internet, some claim, was to have been invented by Al Gore. Nobody ever truly knew what that meant. One person created the internet? Surely, such a thing is as preposterous as saying Darude invented techno. The internet has gone through many, many evolutionary changes. Having started but a short while ago in the technology timeline, it has jumped, nay, leapt hurdles in months that otherwise would have taken years. From 28.8 kbps to a limitless speed, from wired to wireless, from home to anywhere else in the world. Everything is available by a simple point and click away.

So many experiments have occurred on this internet. People have confessed their deepest thoughts. Others have utilized the internet to pass the time by just stumbling around as a drunk does from bar to bar, hoping to get a good hit at some point. Yet, the growing minority has used it to find love. Why need face to face connections when all our thoughts are poured out by our fingertips?

Yet, some people are bilingual in the world wide web. They can interact socially just as well as they can internet-act. He was bilingual in this regard. Sometimes, he was shy. This week he was shy. There was so much going around him that he had no idea which direction all the raging hormones were coming from. Girls scantily clad with every bit bulging from them, especially their wide, searching eyes. Those eyes were headlights trying to find their way in the growing darkness of men. The guys were wearing what they’d normally wear, adding the ever famous popped collar and tousled hair. This was not his scene. And so he sat in his room just type type typing away on his laptop that he had lovingly named “Madison.” She was beautiful. Smooth, always knew what to show, and he would help her up if she felt like shutting down.

As much as Madison meant to him, he desired somebody else. Not just somebody else, some BODY. A companion. A friend. A confidant. He had not come to college to look for love. At the same time, he did not come to college to feel lonely. That which was occurring on the outside just did not suit him. The people were young, they were looking for things he had already placed aside long ago. Where to go, he thought. What to do? The conversations he had had were merely introductory nuisances. Nothing ever evolved from them because nothing could ever evolve from them. Nobody knew where they were going because they had hardly been anywhere at such a young age.

Not everybody partied every night. Some stayed confined in the warmth that was their computer screen’s glow. Scattered spots across the campus were endowed with wireless internet. His spot was not one of them. He would keep the window open just in case any wandering internets would desire to make themselves at home in his computer. Usually, he would merely hear the drunken shouts of guys thrilled to be drinking in their rooms.

“It’s my birthday in six minutes!” yelled somebody caddycorner to his room. He looked out to see where the sound came from. His window faced an open area which was enclosed by his building. A courtyard, so to say. Glancing over, he saw a laptop perched upon a windowsill. “Isn’t that a bit dangerous?” he called out. A face peeked out from behind the computer. “Yeah, but it’s the only way I can get the internet!” called the face from afar. The voice had a bit of an accent. English? “Why don’t you come down to the lounge room? The internet is amazing there!” he yelled back. “Yeah? I’m trying to set this dratted thing up, but I can’t get anywhere with it. It’s like it’s possessed by my ex,” she kind of faded out at the end. “Come on down, I’ll help you!” he called out, glad some interaction was occurring that evening. She flashed a thumbs up and drew back into her room, shutting the window behind her. He waited in his room for a bit, not wanting to seem too hasty and also trying to figure out if a thumbs up gesture in Britain was to be interpreted offensively. Then he took his stuff over to the lounge.

“Sorry I’m late,” he said as he walked in. She had been just setting up and looked over at him. “No, no it’s quite alright. I know you weren’t trying to seem too eager, so you took your time.” He tried to say something, but static escaped his mouth and ended in a flabbergasted smile. “Come on, then. Let’s get you online,” he managed to say as he pulled up a chair next to her.