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June 7, 2006
Compromise
Starting to talk to and answer emails from high school juniors that are just about to make the transition into the senior year. I think it is something about seeing their friends graduate and prepare for college that makes students realize that their college years are just around the corner and they better grasp this reality.
Here is my best piece of advice for families just starting a college search. Be prepared to compromise. While parents know their children and usually are aware of what is best for them, students sometimes see a college opportunity as one to try new things. Some students are looking for a fresh start, an exploration, a new beginning. Others are not. But all parties must be prepared to communicate, discuss, and compromise on decisions that will be made during the college search and selection.
Advice to student: your parents are more than likely paying for part of college and therefore wish to have influence on the decision. Advice to students: the college selection is one of the earliest significant (sometimes life altering) decisions that your son or daughter will make; give them the opportunity to attack it on their own. A student’s actions through their college search will actually tell you a lot about how prepared for college they are and will give them insight into how big a process this actually is.
This is not to say that the parents or the students should have more of a say than another. It is to say that everyone needs to talk about what they foresee as the best options so there are no surprises in the long run.
Visit wherever you wish, apply to those schools that fit your needs and desires and negotiate in the end. Families that enjoy, compromise, and work on the college search together are usually the ones that are the most pleased when a final decision is made.
Posted by Chris Boehm at June 7, 2006 2:27 PM